Please go away. I don't need you right now.
Posted by louie louie on Friday, February 8, 2013
Hi.
Sobra ba yung hinihingi ko?
Can you blame me if I'm starting to feel tired?
I never stopped.
Pero I don't know how long I can keep this going.
It's depressing and I don't want to dwell in it too much
But if you think you've submitted over a hundred resumes and went through about 20 interviews and exams
(I'm not even exaggerating) you'll find yourself tired too.
I know several friends whom experienced about 5% of what I'm going through right now
And they think that all those rejection depresses them.
Well put yourself in my shoes and try not to kill yourself.
Truth is, I really don't want to be writing about this,
I never wanted to admit what is happening,
I never wanted to let myself get affected about what's going on
I usually brush things off,
But again, I don't know how long I can keep this up.
I don't even know what to do anymore
I tried everything, don't even think I'm not trying hard enough
Because I am.
And I never tell anyone this because I'm embarrassed.
I already think I'm not good enough
Those people already think I'm not good enough.
I don't want my friends and family to think that too.
Maybe it was wrong for me to want a career that I can be proud of.
I'm all ok about starting really small if I know that I can use it to eventually climb up top.
But I remember that one interview when I was told that I shouldn't start too small because I'm better than that and they actually can't afford me because she thinks I'm over qualified for the position.
But what do you want me to do when no one else wants me?
(Ok maybe I did have a few mistakes but I learned from those)
Maybe I don't deserve something this good.
Ugh. This is so depressing. I hate feeling like this.
I'm not saying I'm going to stop trying
I'm just saying that this is finally putting a dent on this wall I try to put up
I'm finally feeling a little tired and secret lang pero I cried a little over it last week.
Pero yun nga, I'm going to keep on trying.
I don't even care about my pride anymore
(Actually I still do, pero I have like 8% pride left na lang)
I'm sorry blog if lately I've been posting a lot of not-so-happy stuff.
Sobra ba yung hinihingi ko?
Can you blame me if I'm starting to feel tired?
I never stopped.
Pero I don't know how long I can keep this going.
It's depressing and I don't want to dwell in it too much
But if you think you've submitted over a hundred resumes and went through about 20 interviews and exams
(I'm not even exaggerating) you'll find yourself tired too.
I know several friends whom experienced about 5% of what I'm going through right now
And they think that all those rejection depresses them.
Well put yourself in my shoes and try not to kill yourself.
Truth is, I really don't want to be writing about this,
I never wanted to admit what is happening,
I never wanted to let myself get affected about what's going on
I usually brush things off,
But again, I don't know how long I can keep this up.
I don't even know what to do anymore
I tried everything, don't even think I'm not trying hard enough
Because I am.
And I never tell anyone this because I'm embarrassed.
I already think I'm not good enough
Those people already think I'm not good enough.
I don't want my friends and family to think that too.
Maybe it was wrong for me to want a career that I can be proud of.
I'm all ok about starting really small if I know that I can use it to eventually climb up top.
But I remember that one interview when I was told that I shouldn't start too small because I'm better than that and they actually can't afford me because she thinks I'm over qualified for the position.
But what do you want me to do when no one else wants me?
(Ok maybe I did have a few mistakes but I learned from those)
Maybe I don't deserve something this good.
Ugh. This is so depressing. I hate feeling like this.
I'm not saying I'm going to stop trying
I'm just saying that this is finally putting a dent on this wall I try to put up
I'm finally feeling a little tired and secret lang pero I cried a little over it last week.
Pero yun nga, I'm going to keep on trying.
I don't even care about my pride anymore
(Actually I still do, pero I have like 8% pride left na lang)
I'm sorry blog if lately I've been posting a lot of not-so-happy stuff.
