So yeah,
Update on that emergency corporate meeting.
We all got drunk last night.
Went home around 4.
Lahat sila halos may pasok ng morning after.
And I tried my first weed.
I only did like less than 5 puffs.

So anyway,

Remember when I said I wanted to try being broke?

Because most of the happiest people I know are broke and they get by, happy.

And I'm jealous.

So I said I wanted to try that kind of life.
Well now I'm experiencing it, I can now say that
When you're broke, you experience real life.
I like real life, I actually feel things.
I realize I'm not empty anymore unlike my dull Yell days
when the only thing keeping me sane are the weekend meetings wiv ze lezzies
At least now even if I'm sacred of my future, I'm holding on to something
That I have a goal, real one.
I don't have a boyfriend kaya these are what I consider my inspirations.
That feeling I get when I see a tiny glimpse of hope from the person interviewing me.
And of course making my parents smile.
Conyo Couple Update: Ok I decided that disgustingly cute guy is so not my type.
Aaaaand I shouldn't be saying things like, "disgustingly conyo" kase malay mo
Baka ang next boyfriend ko eh conyo. Ayoko kainin mga sinabi ko.
Or when I think I'm now really used to commuting
Or when I recognize the places I see in Makati or anywhere

(That's when I realize that I'm not that person anymore
Who feels clueless and lost 120% of the time.
I love that feeling, realizing I'm not really that lost)
 
You know I think I've been rejected more times than most people I know.
Does that make me strong?
Having to face all those rejections and yet i still haven't got the urge to off myself.
Maybe it has something to do with being numb.
Not that I'm such a robot.
Kase I swear those rejections get to me
It's like being told I'm not good enough a hundred times.


So yah, I can now talk about these things
Kase I'm not embarrassed anymore
Proud na lang ako na I did not give up.
Sabi nila, "When you're about to give up, that's when the miracle starts to happen."
I WAS ABOUT TO GIVE UP
Pero I told myself giving up wasn't an option.

I know it's really cheesy, but,
"Thank you Mama Mary.
Thank you kase you love my mom and you love me.
My mom prays to you every Wednesday you know.
Thank you for listening to her prayers.
She never missed a Wednesday and I try to go with her whenever I can."
Now I'm crying.

OK
Can I start talking about my favorite topic now?
Me and love, lol.

I kinda feel sorry for the guys who imply they like me or that they have a crush on me
Haha tae, those poor guys. Something's wrong with them.
They only like the surface.
Kung ano lang yung akala nilang ako
They think I'm all cool and mysterious and interesting and not weird at all.

So where am i getting this from?
There's this guy I kinda know from college.
He's friends with someone I say Hi to dati.
I haven't talked to him yet pero he's talking to me lately on fb



He kept messaging me, tas inaaya nya ko lumabas
He said he has a crush on me nung college.
Oh please.
Will all of you still talk to me if you find out that
I like One Direction way too much for a 23 yr old girl?
Funny noh?
No it's not. FML.

Oh it's 2pm! Bye!


P.S.

Dear You-don't-know-who (bec I haven't talked about him yet here),

Please stop being cute.
Do you want me to pounce on you kase you're too cute and I can't take it?
No diba? So stop it.

Love, me.